Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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