that's an acceptable place to lick
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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