My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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