Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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