I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
