covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
ttyl tear gas
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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