he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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