Please, let me fuck your mom
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I cut my penus on the lid.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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