my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
