Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
