My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize