He asked to "fluff my boner.."
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
