i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i've created a new STD.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
