you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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