Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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