The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
