the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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