Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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