I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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