He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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