I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
