I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
