The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
