It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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