it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize