I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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