I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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