I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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