so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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