how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize