Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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