Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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