Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
