Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
