What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
