Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
