THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize