last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
