just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
