i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
