That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
