this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
