There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
