I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
