I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
