Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
