my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
