Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
