awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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