I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
