Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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