is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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