What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
