it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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