you guys were way drunker than both of me
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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