He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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