Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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