i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
