GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
