You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My butt remains clenched, sir.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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