butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
