i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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