The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
