I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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