My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
